2 racers and an angry irish man
by Agent BM
Summary: Vanellope catches a leprechaun for Rancis's birthday. lots of chaos ensues just for a pot of gold. please review and no flames please, anyone who flames will be terminated


**2 racers and an angry Irish man**

**I don't own wreck it ralph**

**If you have a better name for this story then tell me. I got the idea for this from something I saw. Hope you enjoy**

Today was Rancis's birthday, so Vanellope caught something that was going to make Rancis rich. Something that was supposed to be a myth in sugar rush. She caught him a chocolate leprechaun. She led Rancis down into his basement with a blindfold on

"So what's this big surprise you have for me?" asked Rancis

"Something that's going to make you one rich racer. Take off your blindfold" said Vanellope

Rancis took off his blindfold and saw a chocolate leprechaun tied up to a chair with licorice ropes and tape

"You caught me a homeless game character?" asked Rancis who was not impressed

"No, I caught you a leprechaun. The rules are if you catch one you get a pot of gold, and I want you to have it since I'm already rich" said Vanellope

"There's no such thing as leprechauns" said Rancis

"I'll show you" said Vanellope

She walked up to the man and tore the tape off his mouth

"Hey buddy, I want you to tell my boyfriend you're a leprechaun and that you're gonna give us a big pot of gold" said Vanellope gently

"Yes I'm a leprechaun, but the LAST THING I'LL DO IS GIVE YOU MY POT OF GOLD YOU LITTLE BITCH" shouted the leprechaun before hitting Vanellope's head with his head. Blood started coming out of her head

"WHY YOU LITTLE MAGICAL FREAK I'M GONNA KILL YOU" shouted Vanellope before Rancis stopped her

"Here I'll handle it" said Rancis as he walked up to the leprechaun

"Hey buddy, sorry about my girlfriend, she's had some rough things happen to her in the past. Now I'm gonna untie you and let you go, how does that sound?" asked Rancis

"Okay, but first" the leprechaun loosened one of his arms and punched Rancis in the face

"I'm gonna cut off your balls and feed em to your girlfriend" said the leprechaun angrily

"DIE YOU MAGICAL PIECE OF FUDGE" shouted Rancis as he started kicking the leprechaun but Vanellope stopped him

"Don't kill him, if he's dead then he can't tell us where the gold is" said Vanellope

"Once I get out of here, I'm gonna stab and fuck you all to pieces with my leprechaun knife"

"That's not gonna happen, because no one knows where you are. You're never getting out of here" said Vanellope

Her phone started ringing, she answered it

"Hello?"

"If that's my brother, get ready to have your balls cut off"

"Shut up you piece of fudge" shouted Rancis

"I here you have my brother, is that true?"

"Yeah we sure do whoever this is. Me and my boyfriend are angry and we want our pot of gold" said Vanellope

"How about I cut your balls off and feed them to you and shoot you with my leprechaun gun" shouted the man on the phone

"They must really like balls" said Rancis

"LISTEN FREAK, WE WANT A POT OF GOLD OR WE'RE GONNA KILL YOUR BROTHER" shouted Rancis angrily

"Ok" said the man before hanging up

The doorbell rang

"How'd he get here so fast?" asked Rancis

"I'll get it" said Vanellope before rushing upstairs

"You 2 racers are gonna be in big trouble. There's only 2 ways to kill chocolate leprechauns, eat them, or shoot their heads"

"Won't you just regenerate, oh wait no you won't since you're technically glitches anyway" said Rancis before putting tape on the man's mouth

"Rancis help me out here" said Vanellope

Rancis ran up the stairs and came back down with Vanellope carrying a huge pot of sugar rush gold coins

"Look at all this gold, I'm as rich as you" said Rancis

"Happy birthday boyfriend" said Vanellope

"So we get the gold and we can keep this little freak?" asked Rancis

"We sure do" said Vanellope "You here that man, looks like you're staying with us"

"It seems your lucky charms just ran out" said Rancis

"Who's magically delicious now bitch?" asked Vanellope

The leprechaun tried to say something but couldn't because of the tape

"What's that? Can't here you over my giant pot of leprechaun gold" said Rancis as he and Vanellope laughed

Another leprechaun popped out of the pot

"Top of the morning bitches" said the leprechaun before shooting the 2

"He shot my eye" said Vanellope in pain

"He shot my balls" said Rancis

The leprechaun jumped out and attacked Vanellope

"That's it brother, cut off their balls and stab em with your leprechaun knife" said the other man

The freak took out a knife and stuck it in Vanellope's chest. She screamed in pain as he tried to stab her in the head, but she held him back

Rancis grabbed a gun from a box

"Rancis shoot him" shouted Vanellope

Rancis fired but hit the one tied to the chair

"Not that one THIS ONE" shouted Vanellope

Rancis fired again and killed the other leprechaun

"So what do we do with these freaks?" asked Vanellope

(1 hour later)

The 2 decided to eat the leprechauns as a birthday lunch. The parts that the brother shot had healed and regenerated.

The 2 sat on Rancis's couch all full and with chocolate on their faces

"Nellie, thanks for the gift. It must've been a lot of work catching that freak" said Rancis

"Actually I caught him eating my garbage" said Vanellope

"Well at least we got a huge pot of gold. So what do you wanna do now?" asked Rancis

"you wanna take a bath in the gold coins like rich people do?" asked Vanellope

"Yeah, come on" said Rancis

The 2 grabbed the pot and carried it off to the bathroom

**What do you think, pretty funny huh? Please review and no flames please.**


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